Can we afford to do the thing that we love to do for a living?

Project Barley Torrance open mic

What I have here is a very unique somewhat orphaned humanoid being excommunicated by his kind for reasons unknown to most and only imagined.

We have  a horny cricket outside our bedroom window.   A very loud one indeed.  I’m pretty sure because we put mating crickets at the end of one of our songs-  Betwixt Fear and High Key.  

Hurry up and blog

Just realized that I was writing the blog part in the “excerpt” part.

Decisions are waiting to be made…lurking in the background like little invisible aliens needing attention.

Times are tough when Michael is eating corn and bamboo shoots for dinner. haha.

A lot of boxes have been packed for this move even though we don’t really know when or where we are going. All we know is the instruments and equipment will be the last thing to be packed and the first thing we unpack when we get to our mystery home. The smell of mildew still abounds and Michael is being so patient with my anger regarding it. Worse case scenario is we put everything in storage and move back to our hometown.

We met up with a wonderful person yesterday who is helping us so we aren’t completely flailing over here. (just partially flailing)

It’s good during these times to write a few things you are grateful for. Faith. Belief. Determination. This is one of those times.

Trials and tribulations and life stuff! It all helps with creating art!

At this point, writing songs come more naturally than when we first started, but it’s Michael’s “heavy lifting” with Pro Tools arranging, mixing, and mastering that I call “Putting it on the board”. Then we collaborate to make the song into a story. I was hoping that I could just get away with writing chord progressions and coming up with cool melodies on this musical journey, but I’m realizing that it’s going to take a lot more than that to change the world for the better. Understanding that a lot of time is spent on other things not even related to music. Instagram seems like a complete time suck, but how else are you going to get your music out there? Website stuff? Ads? I experimented with one $5 ad for one day on Instagram. Not even sure how that even works, but will check the analytics to see if we got more listens, follows, or website visits bc of it. It’s an experiment for us.

When Michael started off with the Flaming Lips in the early 80s, things were hella different. Stuff that people use now didn’t exist. It was “old school” press packets, handmade posters, and playing live for no one. (future blog post in the works- more on this coming soon).

Pushing buttons, a lot of cursing at the computer and iphone, and learning as we go. I couldn’t believe how much time it took to tweak the place holders on this website! Sometimes you just wonder if you are doing it all in vain. But it’s interesting in a way, creating stuff- this “business” and co creating art together is a big deal for me and Michael. It is a very intimate thing that we share. Is it possible for us to make a living out of it? I don’t know. I know it’s possible for some people, so why not us? Looking up a bunch of stuff online on “how to” share our songs with the world and then hoping it makes a difference for the better. I went to school for Teaching, Theatre, and Arts and Humanities, not Internet Technology. Beginners mind without blowing my mind.

So, I took a ballet class to escape the apartment hells and other fear for a bit and found refuge in the moment during dégagés at the barre, the piano accompanist played Mein Herr from my favorite musical, Cabaret, with Liza Minelli as Sally Boyles. If you haven’t seen this, I highly recommend it even if you don’t like musicals. Set in Berlin during the jazz age in the Weimer-Era based on the book The Camera about a seedy night club that people took refuge in during the interwar years.

With all of this AI bullshit making it easier, faster, and cheaper for media and entertainment industries, you start to question where is the art industry taking us? Will we still be able to find refuge in art entertainment? Where did we come from, how did we get here, and where are we going with expression of truth in our society? Are all of those sci fi stories like The Congress, Ready Player One, Westworld, and Idiocracy becomming reality? I want to keep this blog from going to the dark depths, but there is a need to protect and pay the artists! Give them/us healthcare. Without art, what are we as a society? (SAG-Aftra and WGA strikes are currently happening across the country). The corporations need to pay their employee fair wages instead of their shareholders and CEOs making billion dollar bonuses and profits. There is a need for this in ALL industries not just entertainment. Would you want to watch, act, or listen to anything written by AI? What is art without a soul?

Getting those creative juices flowing and fighting for our rights to create and get paid accordingly!!!

For me, doing ballet or any different kind of art helps with the other stuff I am creating even if it is writing or drawing something or interpretive dancing to the Go Go’s for a few minutes.

Speaking of the Go Go’s, Michael and I are working on a cover of Our Lips Are Sealed. It’s fun to play the drums and sing this one at the same time! I am very proud of myself actually. Since we don’t have a drummer at the moment, we don’t let that hold us back. We do what we can the two of us. Even though it was written in G, you have to transpose it to G# if you want to play along with their recording of it because in the production of the album, Beauty and the Beat, the whole album was sped up a notch. There is a cool story about how it was originally this really fast punk rock song, but then they were told to record it slower which ended up being too slow then they sped it up again and There’s your G# and Belinda Carlisle’s high pitch vocals which are a challenge to sing! We just read that the guy who produced this album, Richard Gottehrer, also cowrote the 60s hits; I Want Candy, My Boyfriend’s Back, Hang on Sloopy. He also produced Blondie’s first two records and did a bunch of other cool stuff as well that you could look up if you wanted. Jane Wiedlin (Go Go’s guitarist) and Terry Hall (singer from Fun Boy Three) co wrote the song, Our Lips Are Sealed. Brilliant! If you haven’t listened to the Fun Boy III version, we highly recommend that too!

[As I’m writing this blog and talking to Michael about stuff, he asks, “How did you go from The Go Go’s to Weimer-Era Germany?” hahahaha!!! ].

And on that note…..

Where do we go from here?

I’m writing this blog to record, share, and process our musical journey as artists, musicians, collaborators, and life partners in real time. Perhaps this is also a way to connect with the world on a deeper more meaningful level.

Yesterday we spent the morning in discussion over coffee trying to decide what the next step in our journey should be. The leaky plumbing in our apartment is cause for some anxiety. The best place to live to follow through with our creative endeavors, the recording of our album, and rehearsing for live shows? Current circumstances gave us clues that it was time to move out of our building, the smell of mildew and the fear of more leaky pipes and theft being the main reason. Even though, we really love our place and have roots here now, we know we need a bigger space. Moving before finishing this album is not what we anticipated.

Why LA? And should we stay or should we go? Stay in LA or move somewhere cheaper? That is the question. Will we go back to Louisville, maybe Oklahoma City? The continuous search on Zillow throughout the whole country can be exciting and draining at the same time. We listed the pros and cons of each place we were interested in. We even thought about the desert for a hot minute until we realized how very hot it actually is.

What is keeping us in LA? It seems like people either love it or hate it. We are the weirdos that actually happen to love it! We’ve met some of our favorite people in this city. The music scene is great, we can walk to restaurants, roller skate by the beach, ride our bikes (although it’s pretty hilly to get to the beach), walk to the beach which is only 20 min away, we have made such wonderful friends, neighbors, and enriching communities of support. This is our first home together!

The LA is vibe, the energy, the ambition, the heartbeat so to speak is inspiring. Maybe it’s all of the people, the diversity. This feeling that everyone is following a dream or two (maybe more) and it’s perfectly fine to do it and go for it. People creating in one way or another and living life to the fullest. It’s actually kind of like Disneyland for creative types. You may feel crushed from your own expectations, but you can still dream big and feel supported by those around you. People root for you in your endeavors. In fact, when you begin connecting with people in a true way, people seem put you in touch with coaches, classes, giving advice about what steps to take and you can either listen to them or not. There is a respect for individuality here. I question why certain people/ places are so judgey in other places. I mean, people can judge here, but no one is really paying attention. It’s like these thick-skinned people walking around every where not giving a @#$%.

Each neighborhood and area have it’s own kind of personality and culture. I think it is impossible to be bored here especially if you enjoy people watching.

There are cons here though. Con artists too. You gotta be careful /aware because there are a lot of needy people that want something. Some people think they can get that “something” from you and then it’s like “omg, what do you want from me?” Not all people are like this, but there are a lot of needy types probably because it is REALLY expensive to live here, it is very competitive, and it’s just not economically sustainable for most people. It’s not just the rent, it’s the food, the gas! For what we spend on our apartment in a somewhat safe neighborhood (our garage has been broken into five times btw), we could be living in a nice big ole house with a finished basement for recording and rehearsing in the burbs of my hometown. Just remember, wherever you are, set boundaries for yourself, don’t put people on pedestals (they are only human… i think), and be aware of your surroundings.

We may have faced some apartment issues here, but I think the pros have outweighed our cons. LA is a place that I feel like we can just be ourselves. If you have a freak flag, it is certainly ok to fly it here if you want to.

Back to this decision we have to make…we don’t want to be “house poor” and we are thinking it might be better to have a bigger space for rehearsing and recording. And when we move this time, I would prefer to stay put for a while (until we go on tour). I am imagining that having a home base after a long tour would be pretty nice too. I decided to bang out my frustrations on the drums. Fortunately for the neighbors, I have drum pads and “quietish” cymbals with holes in them. Maybe I’ll just do some finger tapping. It doesn’t help that our neighbors’ baby nursery is right above our home studio. Eeeek!! You might be asking, What about “Lock Out” rehearsal studio spaces? Well… there is one that is somewhat close to us. It isn’t sound proof for recording and also very pricey for the size.

Things may seem difficult and challenging, but just when you are about to give up, if you can hang on a little longer, there is something that leads you back on track. There is always a way. The tough times will eventually pass and you will have that happy feeling again. Believe it! Even if things still suck because things have a way of sucking from time to time, just know that there’s a happy feeling coming back again. Don’t give up on it.

Pay attention to what is around you, who is supporting you. Out of the blue something changes, our friend knows “a guy” and blam! We are on our way to meet this angel person who is helping us find our perfect place for this time in our life. Fingers crossed we find something suitable and in the best location so we don’t actually have to leave all of the wonderful treasures we have discovered.

Also!!! Out of the blue! We got a great review of our singles by the Japanese band, HaHa No Kimagure which actually happens to currently be our new favorite band! We highly recommend giving them a listen. We love the song Dinosaur! Their music is fun and different, yet familiar in a way that has the power to break through any cultural differences. It is like we are friends who have yet to meet. They have some new singles coming out soon too! Can’t wait to share them!

To all the artists who may be struggling or trying to figure out what they are doing with their lives, I highly recommend surrounding yourself with the best possible people you know. People who encourage and believe in you! Michael and I were lucky to have found this in each other and in our dear friends here in LA and the surrounding areas. Take the time to join supportive communities that encourage healthy self love and as Nike says “just do it”! Write, Create, Do!!!!! Don’t think about it or try and plan or talk about it too much, just keep putting stuff out there. Don’t wait until things are perfect. “It’s better to be done than perfect”, or so I’ve heard, (I’m still on the fence about this one), especially for the first thing you put out there. My brother reminds me, “Sometimes you just have to walk away and be done”. The first one is the big hump. Once you get over that, then you can keep going and have a better idea of suited actions for the next time.

Michael and I are learning our “sound” together as we go. The more we do together, the better we get at communicating with each other and working together. It isn’t always easy and a lot of emotions are involved, but it’s always good to hug it out in the end even when we might not completely agree on stuff. (More on that later). If you are new to sharing your art to the world like I am (outside of acting and dancing), the thing is, the more you put out there, the more you learn about yourself, the more patience you begin to have with yourself and others, and if you keep going, putting in the time, energy, and work, you will learn and you will grow no matter what which is the most important thing in my opinion. To know your worth and that you are worthy of this experience. If you enjoy it, keep going, keep doing, keep living! Stay in the present moment and keep reminding yourself of that. Let go of people and things that make you feel anything less than fabulous. You are doing it instead of just talking about it and that’s so awesome!! It’s all a part of the process. Trust the process!